Harder Than I Thought it Would Be

Well here I am packing up all my stuff and figuring out what time I am getting picked up to go home tomorrow. I cannot believe this is actually happening. I am done with my first year of college. It was full of stress, tears, homesickness, AMAZING roommates (especially mine), phone calls home, skyping with friends, letters, homework, failed classes, hard tests, endless worries, babysitting, sickness, elementary kids, making friends, movies, I could go on and on and on but I think you get it. College was definitely not what I thought it was going to be. It wasn't partying, going on dates every weekend or even fun at times. It has been one of the hardest things of my life so far. I have had to experience being away from home for the first time in my life which was HARD. I had to deal with roommate drama. I was able to experience living on my own, which may I say was not bad. I was blessed with an incredible roommate who I will definitely never forget for the rest of my life. I have a feeling we are going to be friends for the rest of our lives.

As I ALWAYS write about, I was blessed with the amazing opportunity to be an aid at the elementary school down my street. It not only reinforced the fact that I want to be a teacher but it gave me a great chance to have more experience in the classroom working with students. I loved every minute of it. It was really hard having to say goodbye to those sweet kids. They had a hard time with me leaving which I look at as a good thing because I made a difference in their lives, which makes me feel amazingly awesome! I love those kids. :)

I have had so many experiences this year. Though most of them were hard, I know they happened for a reason and if I could do it again I wouldn't change anything. I was able to live on my own. To be able to do things for myself- cook my own meals, do my laundry, wash my dishes all of that great stuff, was a wonderful opportunity for me. I learned so much while I have been here that is going to bless me in my future life. I was able to learn who my real friends are. I thought that I had great friends but since I was the only one in my group of friends to actually move out and live on my own I was able to see how blind I really was. Some of the people I thought were my best friends I can now see how fake they really were. To those friends who stood by my side through everything this year and who were still there when I came home I love you dearly. I hope you know how much you mean to me and how I am so grateful  we are friends. You mean the world to me. :)

I was able to realize how much I truly LOVE my family. Do not get me wrong, I knew that I loved them very much but being away from them has helped me realize just how much I love them. I was so blessed to be born into my family. I am so excited to be able to spend eternity with them. To always have them with me is more than I could ever ask for. :)

I have been able to grow stronger in the gospel as well. Before I came to school I wasn't sure for myself that it was true. I was pretty positive it was but I was definitely going off of my parents and leaders testimonies. I still don't have a sure testimony in the gospel but I believe it is true. I know that if I keep doing what I am doing and that I keep asking Heavenly Father, I will have a sure assurance that it is true. Till that moment I will say that I believe it is true. I can't wait for the moment when I can say that I KNOW it is true. :)

This year I have had the most wonderful experiences with my roommate. I don't have any sisters of my own and growing up with five brothers I have never really been able to get along with girls that well. I have always had troubles with them. Ever since I was in elementary school. I really only have a couple of girlfriends that I would consider my great friends. I was kind of worried about coming to college because I knew I was going to have six roommates and I didn't know how well that was going to work with me. The first week of college was a little awkward as we were all trying to get to know one another. My roommate, MJ, I was a little afraid of when I first moved in. She was older than me and my landlord told me that she had her own room during the summer and was hoping that she was going to keep it that way. So when I moved in I thought she hated me because I was ruining her space. But I was wrong. We warmed up to each other. It took awhile but we did. And now I don't want to leave her. We have done many things together this year and I seriously can't imagine not having her there everyday. It is going to be so much harder than I thought it would be saying goodbye. She is like the sister I never had and Heavenly Father knew EXACTLY what He was doing when He put us together as roommates. I thank Him everyday for her. MJ, I love you! :)

I am not going to be coming back to the college I am at. I will be transferring to a school closer to home. I wasn't too sure about it at first but I know it is supposed to happen because I already have a job interview set up. Heavenly Father obviously wants me there. I just hope I can handle living with my family again... they are a little crazy. ;)

I can't believe that my first year of college is over. It is going to be weird living at home and adjusting to that again. Just for the summer though, I am sure I will be moving out this fall. But until then I get my crazy family back!

I guess I should go finish packing up. I still can't believe this is happening. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day for me. Good thing that MJ and I are going to keep in touch. And I can't wait for our roommate reunions! :)

Remember to keep your Head Held High, I am trying and will always do my best. :)

-Kasey :)